Dissorder in the Court

Lige lidt natte spam men jeg var ved at dø af grin da jeg læste den :)

> These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are
> > things people actually said in court, word for word, taken
> > down and now published by court reporters - who had the
> > torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually
> > taking place.
> >
> > Q: Are you sexually active?
> > A: No, I just lie there.
> >
> > Q: What is your date of birth?
> > A: July fifteenth.
> > Q: What year?
> > A: Every year.
> >
> > Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
> > A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
> >
> > Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
> > A: Yes.
> > Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> > A: I forget.
> > Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've
> > forgotten?
> >
> > Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
> > A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
> > Q: How long has he lived with you?
> > A: Forty-five years.
> >
> > Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up


> > that morning?
> > A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> > Q: And why did that upset you?
> > A: My name is Susan.
> >
> > Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
> > voodoo or the occult?
> > A: We both do.
> > Q: Voodoo?
> > A: We do.
> > Q: You do?
> > A: Yes, voodoo.
> >
> > Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
> >
> > Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
> >
> > Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
> >
> > Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
> > A: Yes.
> > Q: And what were you doing at that time?
> >
> > Q: She had three children, right?
> > A: Yes.
> > Q: How many were boys?
> > A: None.
> > Q: Were there any girls?
> >
> > Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
> > A: By death.
> > Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
> >
> > Q: Can you describe the individual?
> > A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> > Q: Was this a male, or a female?
> >
> > Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice
> > which I sent to your attorney?
> > A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
> >
> > Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
> > A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
> >
> > Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
> > A: Oral.
> >
> > Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> > A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> > Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at the time?
> > A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
> > autopsy.
> >
> > Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
> >
> > Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
> > A: No.
> > Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
> > A: No.
> > Q: Did you check for breathing?
> > A: No.
> > Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the autopsy?
> > A: No.
> > Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> > A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> > Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
> > A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
law somewhere.

lol, jeg går ud fra at de mennesker der i sin tid har sagt det der er amerikanere? :D

Jeg synes den sidste er den bedste.

Hmmm... måske skulle man blive advokat.... det ser ike ud til at være så svært at overrumble dem... :-D

LOL typisk amerikanere. Det er også de eneste der kan få penge for at slå deres katte ihjel i mikrobølgeovnen fordi det ikke stod i manualen :D

LOL de amerikanere er sq dumme :-)

det er sku humor :-). Har du ikke et link til noget mere af den slags?

edit
fandt selv et par links, med hjælp fra min ven google...
flere historier
endnu flere
...
/edit

#6

Geniale links, tak for dem :)