Pulp Sysadmin

Do you read assembly language, Brad? There's a few lines of Code I've got memorized

EBIDIC 9D5:

"The path of the Network Administrator is beset upon all sides by the inequities of the ignorant hacker and the tyranny of jackass users.
Blessed is he who, in the name of file retention and network security, shepherds the newbie through the darkness of the Internet.
For he is truly his users administrator and the finder of lost files.
And I will strike down upon keys with great vengance and furious deletion those who would attempt to poison and destroy my network.
And you will know I am root when I lay my lockout upon thee."

I been typin' that shit for years.
And if you read it, it meant your ass.
I never really gave much thought about what it meant 'till just now.
I just thought it was just some cold-blooded shit to IM to user before I locked his ass out of the network.
But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice.

Now I'm thinkin', it could mean you're the jackass user.
And I'm the Administrator.
And Mr. PalmPilot here, he's the shepherd protecting my Administrator account in the darkness of the Internet.
Or it could be, you're the Administrator, and I'm the shepherd, and it's the Internet that's an ignorant jackass.
I'd like that.
But that shit ain't the truth.
The truth is...
(he levels the PalmPilot and speaks deliberately)
You're the weak
And I am the tyranny of jackass users.
But I'm tryin' Brad, I'm tryin' real hard, to be a shepherd.

Yearh Code Fiction!